I choose JOY!

Being on bed rest, I realize that every day I have a decision to make: 
1.)  to be depressed about the fact I am on bed rest, cooped up in the house, unable to work, unable to be active OR 2.)  to be filled with joy and trust God that this is what I need right now and cherish it. 

As much as my nature tends towards the first... I choose JOY!  Is it easy to be filled with joy during a time of uncertainty like this when it concerns your baby and your health?  Absolutely not!  However, this morning I realized that God knew this would happen at this point in my pregnancy.  It's not news to Him!  I trust that I am doing what is best for my baby and myself.  I am doing what His plan is for me at this point in my pregnancy. 

The time that I have now is more like a blessing.  It's a time for me to get rest, get visits from my family, and find encouragement!  I have been so moved by the amount of facebook comments, emails, cards, phone calls, meals, and visits!  This is also a time for me to enjoy the little things in life... a room filled with bright sunshine, springlike breezes through a slightly opened window, naptime when tired, snuggles with my puppy, and kicks from my little girl!  These are all things I typically miss out on when life is too busy.  It's these little things and the encouragement from family and friends that have brought me joy during this time. 

1 Thessalonians 5:16 "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

A Bump in the Road- Baby Update: 28 Weeks 4 Days

This weekend has been...let's just say a bump in the road.  Friday night into Saturday morning I was experiencing a lot of contractions and cramping.  At around 2:30 a.m. we decided to go into the hospital to for monitoring.  Saturday early morning I was not having too many contractions.. hardly any at all (it's that how it always is...go get your car fixed and it starts working when the mechanic looks at it.  Unlike the car at the mechanic, this is a very good thing and I was very happy to see that they calmed down. I also learned that most of what I had been feeling and thinking were contractions were mostly just a lot of cramping and the result of an irritable uterus.  This girl loves kicking and stretching!!  They said I was having some contractions, but they are inconsistent and I was able to sleep right through them- another great sign. 

Thank you God! 

 I did find out that I am dilated 1 cm, which may not necessarily be a bad thing, just something for me to be aware of.  My doctor also did a fetal fibro nectin test, which tests for a certain protein and hormone that are released before labor.  With this test if it comes back negative it means you will not go into labor in the next two weeks.  If the test comes back positive it means that there is a 50/50 chance that you could deliver before 37 weeks.  Before the results were back, my nurse told me she was pretty sure my test would come back positive, but that it would be a false positive as a result of some bleeding from the test (sorry to give you too much info!!)  And yes, the nurse was right it was postive... and hopefully just a false positive.  Because of me being dilated and the positve fetal fibro test they needed to monitor me over night and into this morning (Sunday) and I am now on bedrest, hopefully just short term until my follow up appointment with my dr. Tuesday.  This morning we were released from the hospital because there were no further changes in my cervix and baby looks good.  Thank God!  They also gave me steroid shots both days to help develop our baby's lungs in case we deliver early.  

Through this I feel like God is teaching me a lot.  I'm learning about trusting in Him, even when it is difficult.  Sometimes I find myself just wanting answers...I'm a teacher for goodness sake! haha!  But I am learning how to trust God even when test results come back uncertain and when I don't have all the answers.  God is in control and will take care of us!  He is the creator of the universe for crying out loud... this little bump in the road is not to difficult for Him to take care of!

On a positve note, I did get some good test results!  Because the nurse was curious, she pushed to get early results from my 3 hour glucose test I had on Friday, and we found out

I do NOT have gestational diabetes!!  YAY!  Thank you for all of your prayers and encouraging words. 

God has been so faithful in providing Josh and I with our miracle baby girl.  He truly is taking care of her.  We got another ultrasound at the hospital.  She is as healthy as ever-weighing already at just over 3 pounds. I love seeing my little girl.  She is so perfect!  God is doing such a beautiful job knitting her together!

Psalm 139:13 "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb."

Knowing that God loves my little girl, even more than I do, and knowing that He is her creator is so encouraging.  This is a good reminder for me and you too.  God loves and cares for us more than we'll ever know.  To read more about this little girl's amazing story: check out my earlier posts titled "Mist", "With God...ALL Things are Possible", and "The Significance of a Flower."  I hope that these posts and our story will bring you encouragement. 

To all of you out there who are still waiting for your babies, who have had difficulty conceiving,

1 Samuel 1:27 "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him."

or who just need encouragement I pray that these stories will bring you hope and peace. 

Matthew 19:26 "With God all things are possible."

Please leave a comment with your encouraging stories or "bumps in the road" that you are going through! 
I'd love to pray for you!

Mist

This morning I was reflecting on why I decided to go to Haiti, and how God's hand was a part of my decision from the beginning. All along we were planning on starting a family this year, so we decided that the hubby would go alone, because we didn't want to risk anything with the recommended vaccinations. About a month prior to his departure, we received news that we wouldn't be able to have children right now. (Maybe I'll share the whole story at a later time.)This caused a mix of emotions in us. We had been preparing for parenthood for about a year now, constantly dreaming about our kids and what our life will be like when we finally meet them! We believe and trust in God that His plan for us is to be parents. I don't care about how I become a mom, just as long as I am one. We already know the names of our children... we've had one of them picked out since our teenage years! We would love a family of four kids, one in each arm, perfect for playing games with (as my dad always said!) Josh says he prays for twin boys and after hearing from Grandma about how much twins run in our family he gets really excited and giggly! Josh will make a GREAT daddy. Seeing how he is with friend's babies and the kids at King's Orphanage. He will be so helpful, cuddly/ loving, and a wonderful leader. I am so thankful I married him, because God knew exactly what I would need in a spouse and gave me that in Josh.

For now we trust in God's most perfect timing and know He will be faithful and provide these desires of our hearts... one way or another! He has a perfect plan and we trust in it. So that is why, in a nutshell, I decided to go to Haiti. Many friends and family asked why I decided to go and probably thought I'd given up on wanting a family. And that is far from the truth. God has other plans for me right now, and I am following His lead and trusting that He is developing me into the Mommy He has created me to be.

God called me to go back to Haiti, just one month prior to departure. The exact day our team leaders purchased the plane tickets. I knew God wanted me to go as I spent time in His Word. I read James 4:13-17. "Now listen, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.' Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, 'If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that. As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. Anyone, then who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins."
This verse spoke straight to my heart. I heard God saying, this door is open for you to go serve and encourage my people in Haiti. Who am I to say no to God! I quickly told Josh I was going and they made sure to buy one more plane ticket. Before the creation of the world, God planned for me to go on that trip. This wasn't anything new to Him. It was all a part of His plan all along. It was a stretch and a step of faith for me to leave the comforts of my home and go to a hot 3rd world country. But I am so glad I did! Stories and reflections from the trip coming soon!!